When Virtual Connections Become Real
When Virtual Connections Become Real
Healing and Resilience: The Role of Virtual Empathy in Coping with Pet Grief and Its Impact on Productivity
"Sherpa is no longer here. He best haunt me. He best haunt me…"
These were Jamie's words, Sherpa's owner. After returning from the most difficult moment for any pet owner, he updated their many fans. Looking exhausted, shocked, and lost, Jamie bravely shared the sad news we knew was coming. It's been a month since I watched that video, and its impact on me was intense and unexpected.
When the video "I'm Sorry! It's Time to Say Goodbye" notification appeared on my screen, I suspected this would not be good. I skimmed the comments. Viewers said they were brought to tears. I convinced myself I could handle watching the video. After all, I had gone through something similar five years ago when we lost our Alaskan Malamute. But as the video ended, I found myself crying alongside a grief-stricken Jamie, who bravely informed us that Sherpa was no longer with us.
Sherpa is a majestic 13-year-old Malamute. I found their channel by chance while watching cute animal videos. Something about Sherpa and Jamie's daily antics resonated with me, and their videos became a constant and comforting presence in my life. As a passive observer without direct interaction, I felt connected.
Still, I didn't think I'd become emotionally invested in their lives over time.
When the Expected Brings the Unexpected
Sherpa understandably began having health concerns, given his age. As he began deteriorating, Jamie remained optimistic by ensuring that Sherpa received the best professional medical care. We knew this day was coming, yet nothing could prepare me for the emotional impact of that video. With Jamie's voice cracking as he shared each moment of Sherpa's last day, it was hard not to feel consumed by the anticipatory grief he was experiencing.
I expected to feel sad about the loss of Sherpa and for Jamie, who was beginning his long, painful process of grieving.
I didn't expect it to impact my life in the following days.
The Emotional Toll on Productivity
My mind was filled with sadness, and I struggled to move past it. I understood my empathetic reaction, but I was surprised by my emotional paralysis.
I saw many similarities between Sherpa and my dog, Keira. They were the same breed and age and had the same mannerisms. They both went through the same physical decline. Jamie's final stages with him—sleepless nights, helping Sherpa stand when he no longer could—were all too familiar.
It felt like reliving that loss all over again.
Dr. Wendy Suzuki, a neuroscientist, discussed how emotions can help form powerful memories. “We remember the happiest and saddest things in our lives because emotional resonance solidifies those memories,” she said during an interview.
My empathy for Jamie and Sherpa, plus remembering my experience with grief became overwhelming. It set off a mental paralysis. This emotional toll significantly impacted my productivity. I felt frustrated, guilty, and confused about why I couldn't focus on work.
It was hard to justify these feelings. Jamie and those close to Sherpa were the ones living through the real grief.
Losing my productivity momentum and streak stressed me more. I tried to push through my emotions and get back on track.
Validating Grief
Society and cultures often downplay or dismiss the grief that comes with losing a pet. So, when it came to talking about someone else's pet, especially from an online presence, it became an unknown territory for me.
As we connect more through online communities, new emotions arise. Digital relationships can be just as impactful as in-person interactions. My experience and the thousands of viewers who sympathized with Jamie show that those connections are becoming more relevant in this new era.
The video has since been viewed over a million times. The experience of grief for a beloved pet connects many people on different levels.
Steps to Regain Momentum
I continue to watch Jamie's videos as he navigates life without Sherpa's physical presence. His journey through many 'firsts' is a powerful reminder of the transitions we all go through after a loss. Jamie's resilience shows through his strength and upbeat personality. He now supports the community by sharing how he's moving on with Sherpa, who is still by his side in a different form.
After days of fighting my emotions, I accepted them. The intensity began to ease. Knowing that digital relationships add a new dimension to our feelings was a big part of it. Our experience with grief is evolving.
Supporting someone who is going through grief online provides an opportunity to heal for both the creator and the viewer. Leaving a supportive comment, sending a handwritten note, a gift, or donating to their channel bridges the gap turning a virtual connection into something real and tangible.
Slowly but surely, I regained momentum and got back on track by accepting my emotions and taking small steps.
I tucked my grief back into the back burner of my soul, knowing it would always be there ready to reignite with strength when the right conditions are met.
"Sweet dreams, Fitness"
As the video closes, these words appear on a photo of Sherpa lying peacefully in his garden. Sherpa reminds us of his love for nature and leaves us with special memories of his joyful life.
Resources for this article:
Sharpa’s Day channel
TED Talk: Pet loss grief; the pain explained | Sarah Hoggan DVM
Online Pet Grief Support: Rainbow Bridge Pet Loss Grief Center
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- Mili